Transformers: Less than meets the eye!

Welcome, one and all to the debut induction for a little blog I like to call Beware of Plot Holes. Before I get into Transformers, let me explain to you the basic format for this blog. One man, one netflix subscription, and a lot of time to dwell on the things in movies that absolutely drive people nuts... I decided the first movie to pick apart is Transformers, having been made by Michael Bay, it is of no surprise this should be about the easiest induction to write... So without any further ado lets tackle the idiocy of Transformers..

Two stories high, and completely silent!
If there were just one scene in this movie that made my brain want to go on permanent vacation it has to be the scene where the transformers decide to sneak around Sam's house! Now I am all about turning off the logic portion of my brain for a movie like transformers (I mean really imagine this was not already a popular toy and cartoon franchise, and someone came into your office pitching a movie about robots from space that turn into General Motors vehicles.), but after discovering his old ,or is that new, Camaro is actually a galaxy defending robot these intergalactic warriors decide to visit our hero Sam at home.. At this point, I forget why, Sam is grounded by his parents and unable to leave his home. So what are these robots to do, but transform and roll out..



So a Hummer, a Camaro, Solstice, GMC Pickup, oh and of course a huge Mack truck all quietly ascend on the Witwicky home in suburbia. Since Sam's room is on the 2nd floor, and well a talking truck would just be stupid, the cars all transform into there robot forms to have an intimate chat with Sam. This is where the fun begins, as each of these robots stand about the same height as the Witwicky home, yet no one notices these enormous robotic aliens.. Well perhaps, they are shrouded by the home right? Well certainly an English speaking 2 story robot can't speak softly enough not to be heard by anyone other than the boy 15 feet away from him? You know what I will give you that one... However, in one of the films 1.2 million attempts at humor,( I say attempt as the movies humor is so bad that they make the awkward laughing at the end of every GI Joe episode seem like Seinfeld) one of those huge roaming robots inadvertently crushes the families beautiful birdbath. Oh no how ever will Sam be able to talk his way out of that predicament?

Would you notice this convoy in your yard? No?! Then you might be a Witwicky

Despite footsteps powerful enough to crush a birdbath, as well as the brick path in the lawn, not the slightest noise, or tremor is ever noticed by Sam's incredibly heavy sleeping parents. I must say I am very concerned about Sam's parents as too stay asleep through all this, they must be more heavily sedated then Paula Abdul. Beating the Deceptions in intergalactic war is impressive, but two-story Autobots roaming through anytown USA without drawing even one furled eyebrow from the neighbors has to be the most impressive feat of these robots in disguise. There you have the very first ever induction of Beware of Plot holes!!